So part of me is pretty sure that I'd have a better time if I just stayed home with my books and kitten and computer. But I know that if I did that, I'd be miserable because all of my "friends" (such as they are... I really need to meet some new people! Ahem, Judy, are you paying attention? ;-) ) were there and I wasn't. Plus, I haven't been out much recently, and seeing people is good. And J is going, so that means I don't have to drive or anything. So I'm going. I'm making Apple Crisp to bring, I think. And maybe I'll even have fun. We'll see. Wish me luck!

If all outside constraints (work schedule, family schedule, general world schedule, etc.) were taken away, what time do you think you would go to bed and get up?

Don't answer here, go there!

Hear ye, hear ye! I am pleased and pround to announce the opening of The Other Yesterday: The Boards! Come talk!!!

So I thought I'd give an update on the shopping stuff I was talking about yesterday. First of all, I have to say that I absolutely love the shaving gel I got. (And of course it's nice to HAVE shaving gel and be able to shave my legs without cutting them all up. But yeah.) It's Wild Berry flavored (flavored? You don't eat it. Scented? I guess that's what I mean) and all nice and summery. It makes me feel pretty and sexy. I love it.

I also wanted to write about how well dinner went last night! As I posted yesterday, I bought a whole chicken at the store, and I roasted it! Successfully! And it was good! I've never done that before. I was so proud.

Because of the freaky supermarket thing yesterday, I decided to look into alternatives. I discovered that there are virtually no independent grocery stores around here (probably because of the overabundance of chain stores). So I decided to try out some of the natural/organic food stores. I went to one today called Earthward. It's about 15 min from my apartment--not bad at all. I liked it a lot, and I think once I manage to get over the nervousness that I always have when going new places, I'll like it even more. I went mostly to look, so I only got two things--organic applesause (need some for BBQ sauce tonight) and a box of decaf chai (mostly for J but I like it too). I'm not sure I'll ever do all my shopping there--no skim milk or mozzarella or brown sugar, just among a few things I happened to notice--but I'll definitely be going back.

I have no motivation to work today. So I am doing something exciting and site-related instead. Look for a big announcement at some point this afternoon!

1. Where did you attend school as a child? (the first 6 years or so...) What do you remember about the building and the playground?

Well, in my first six years of school, I went to three different elementary schools and one middle school. First: Carrington Elementary School, Waterbury, CT. It was a long, low brick building, I think. No playground just a blacktop. That was K-2. For grade 3 I went to St. Margaret's-McTernan, a private school in Waterbury, CT. It was a campus-type setting, lots of grounds and trees and grass around old pretty buildings. Grade 4 was Middlebury Elementary School, Middlebury, CT. I can picture the building perfectly--my brother just graduated from there last year--but for some reason I can't think of how to describe it. It was brick, but some sections were those sort of big bricks painted white. There were three playgrounds, the main one, a kindergarten one, and an old one in the back. Grades 5-8 was Memorial Middle School, Middlebury, CT. Another brick building, pretty old. The playground was new, though--my family helped build it the year before I started there.

2. Do you remember your first day? your teacher's name? best friends? your favorite activity?

I pretty much remember all of that, so I'll give some highlights. I always had a pretty new dress to wear on the first day, and was always scared and excited. Teachers--Mrs. Vulgaris for K, Mrs. Farrell for 1, Mrs. Jorgenson for 2, several for 3 (my favorite was Ms. Herwig), Mrs. Shaw for 4, several for 5 (my fave was Mrs. Bickley). My best friend in K was Kelly, and then she moved away and Beth moved in, and we were friends until I moved in grade 3. Favorite activity was always reading!

3. What sort of lunch box did you have? What was usually in it?

This I'm not so sure about. I had a variety of different ones over the years, I think. K-2 I probably had the typical plastic kind--maybe Rainbow Brite at some point? I seem to remember that. At the private school for grade 3 we weren't allowed to bring our own lunch--ate in a formal dining room with a teacher at each table. By grade 4 I think I had one of those soft plasticy fabric ones... that's not a good way to describe it... anyone know what I mean? They come in various bright colors, have a strap, zip around the top... anyway! In in, usually a juice box, sandwich, piece of fruit, and cookies.

4. Describe yourself as an elementary school student.

I was quiet, reserved, smart, a bookworm... always more comfortable around adults than peers, always feeling awkward and like people were thinking bad things about me. But I loved schoolwork when it didn't bore me to tears, and I always read constantly.

This afternoon I went out and braved the bank, CVS, and the grocery store. I always sort of look forward to errands like these and sort of dread them. I've always felt awkward in public situations that require talking to people, especially people working somewhere. On the other hand, as much as I like working from home, I like going out and talking to people, too. I guess I'm just weird. I don't know.

Anyway. Hit CVS first. I went because the circular in the Sunday paper had advertised a free Vanilla Coke with a purchase of $10 or more, and also a good price on the Caffeine Free Diet Coke I usually drink. So I went there and got the soda plus some toiletries I needed anyway (but would usually have gotten at the grocery store) to get the purchase up to $10. And then I went to the bank, where amazingly enough there was no line!

And then to the grocery store, which had been the part I was looking forward to most, since I love to cook so much. But I realized that this was really the first time I've done "normal" household grocery shopping for more than just me. Since it wasn't just my money I was spending, I found myself worrying about whether J would like stuff, what he would think, etc. But that wasn't the worst part... the worst was something similar to what Judy has been describing--just the complete overload and depressingness of American grocery stores. All the options that aren't really very different, all the prepared food in pretty packages that looks so fake. And all the miniscule differences in prices and "sales" that aren't really sales.

The cereal aisle alone had me panicking for about 15 minutes. Why does cereal need its own whole aisle? So many of them are either the same yucky sugary stuff dyed different horrific colors or the same boring-looking healthy stuff (which I actually do like) trying to be jazzed up in ways to convince you that they are healthier and less healthy-tasting. Plus I couldn't remember whether J had said he particularly liked Raisin Nut Bran or Oatmeal Crisp Raisin. (I ended up getting the Oatmeal Crisp Raisin because it was cheaper and easier to reach.) And one of the myriad varieties of Total for myself, since it was on sale and would fulfill the $1 off two coupon with J's.

I'm not sure why this just all hit me today. Probably a combination of factors--reading what Judy was saying about it, cooking more, doing more regular shopping, having the time and relaxation to even think about it (rather than running to the grocery store exhausted after class and just grabbing milk and one or two other things), and probably my recent tendency toward doing things as simple/natural as possible. I don't know. Interesting.

I've been trying to buy more "natural" stuff, make everything from scratch, etc. It's more fun to cook that way, for one thing, and certainly healthier, and probably cheaper. And it seems like it would be just better for the world in general, you know? I did pretty well with that today--the only real "mix" I got was a bag of ready-made salad, because it was cheaper than any of the lettuce I could find.

The other weird thing is not having a base of staples around as much as I'm used to at my parents' house. They always have tomatoes, carrots, lettuce, apples, several cheeses, meat in the freezer, etc. It's hard to cook interesting meals without that. But I can't buy it all at once just to have "around" when I want to cook. So I'm trying to stock up bit by bit on things I consider "basic" that J didn't keep around before I moved in.

I got a little chicken that I'm going to try to roast for dinner tonight. I've never done that before. And then I can use the bones to make soup! Yay! That will be exciting. I got green beans (on sale) to go with it and since I'm trying to use up all the boxed stuff around so I can go natural/from scratch, I will make boxed mashed potatoes. And for dessert pound cake with fresh berries. Yum yum yum.

I'm seriously considering finding a smaller grocery store.. maybe a "natural/organic" type? It will be more expensive, though. Maybe I can do that as I get more financially stable. It might be worth it for better quality, and maybe it won't actually be that much more expensive than buying lots of mixed/prepared foods was. And as we get into summer, I'm definitely going to find some farmstands (yes I'm in a city, but it's a city in the middle of woods and farms) to get fresh local produce.

Wow. I think this was one of my longest posts ever, and about the grocery store. I hope it wasn't terribly boring. Oh, and anyone with any resources/tips to get and make more natural stuff, please speak up! I'm going to add a page to my site about this soon.

Hmm. I want to bake a pound cake. But I just made cookies yesterday. Should I should I?

On Monday evening, I realized that I really really wanted peanut butter cookies. I don't know why; I just did. Stressed Student Kat (tm) would have thought longingly of the cookies, hoped the dining hall would serve some soon, perhaps looked into commercial prepackaged alternatives. At most, she would have gone out and bought the ingredients, and then let them sit around for months making her feel guilty because she bought them and didn't have time to make them. She would NOT have taken the hour or less necessary to just go ahead and make them, regardless of how much good they would do for her state of mind and soul (and appetite).

But now! Now I am Happy Adult Kat (tm) with a flexible schedule and time built into my daily routine for domestic pursuits. I even have all the ingredients on hand, since Happy Adult Kat (tm) comes with Her Very Own (Albeit Tiny) Kitchen (tm)! So I made the dough yesterday, let it chill overnight, and now I have cookies! Very yummy cookies, in fact.

Even more important than having the time, though, is the state of mind. I no longer feel as though I have to make every minute "productive" or "worthwhile" according to my parents' or professors' standards. I can recognize that it would be GOOD for me to bake, to cook, to craft, even to lovingly clean and decorate my very own new space. And that's okay! I can be domestic if I want to, and I don't have to justify it to anyone! If anyone accuses me of being unenlightened anymore, I just don't care! I am enlightened enough to know that while I don't HAVE to spend my afternoon in the kitchen making dinner, if I want to I CAN!

I love not being a student at the Liberal Liberal Arts College anymore!

J's "let's just be friends and roommates," that is. Apparently his resolve suddenly went away last night. I'm not really sure what I think about the whole thing. On the one hand, it was quite enjoyable, of course. (Yes, that's a massive understatement.) And he seemed to enjoy himself as well. (Yes, another understatement.) It's nice to know that the chemistry's still there and that he still finds me attractive on some level, at least.

On the other hand, I can tell that he's already somewhat regretting it. He seems to have this determination that his actions should follow his words, rather than letting his words follow his actions. I don't know. And then there was the whole sleeping issue. Afterward, he went and changed into his pajamas and then came back into my room rather uncertainly and asked if I wanted him to sleep there or in his room. So I said "sure, stay here." But that means that he didn't sleep terribly well and had to get up for work today (one of the reasons he's regretting it, I think). And also that I couldn't get up early to write, so my schedule is thrown off as well.

So I don't know. I just don't know.

Darn it, sometimes I feel like I'm living in a romance novel. "He was her first love. She gave him one of the happiest relationships he'd known. But he broke it off, and now they're just best friends. Can they live together without the sparks reigniting?"

Of course, in a romance novel, the answer would always be "no," and they'd be married or at least engaged by the end. That's probably giving me unrealistic expectations, huh? Or is that just the way things work?

I also successfully parallel parked downtown and found my way (walking) to the library, a store where I'm applying to work, CVS, and the post office! I was very proud of myself.

Now I am checking my Times subscription. Trying to get a login name and all. I wonder how much it will cost to keep it up? I got the first 12 weeks as a gift. I hope I can afford to make it keep coming.

It's good in theory. We'll see how it works.

1. Get settled in a better work/writing routine.
2. Find a part-time job!
3. Eat more healthily.
4. Exercise more.
5. Keep working on getting the apartment set up.

Because of the long weekend, I almost forgot it was Monday! Anyway, here goes...

1. The apartment is starting to come together and feel like home.
2. Memorial Day/J's day off/long weekend--all very good!
3. Watched the Indy 500 for the first time yesterday.
4. Now that school's over, I have time to read and write and craft and cook!!
5. I get to see my kitten all the time now!!!

Hope all you who are celebrating are having a lovely long weekend. I am! I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.